This post which you are about to read is the first one I have really forced myself to write. Usually if I think of one and I end up expressing it somewhere other than my blog, I don't put it down but then this one is really quite a milestone in terms of my life. And so, since this blog is also a chronicle of sorts, I shall express once more, for the sake of memories.
Last month, when I returned to college for semester deux, I went in with a mission. I realised at several points during my break in Jaipur, that all my life I have always thought. The time had come for me to shut the fuck up and do!
Regular readers and friends will know that I am an Arsenal fan and by extension they will know why. It dawned upon me that until last month, while I have always been an arsenal fan, I was inadvertently a Chelsea man. As much as i hated to acknowledge or accept it, I had always been logical and fucntional. Fucking cunt is what I was.
This past month, I have disowned all aims and goals I ever set for myself. I worked on instinct and there were many times when I paid for it. Whether it was unfortunate 'blips' in the process of getting things I desperately craved, or getting my aim way way wrong, things didn't hurt me the way they did before. Shit really stung now. Essentially I was feeling and living harder than ever before because now I actually lived Arsenal!
In finally becoming an Arsenal man, I have made some awesome 'plays' and have been able to not only find people I genuinely care for, but find people who genuinely care for me. As such I have scored two 'goals.'
The first, is a wooden sheild with cheap plastic gold plating. It is the BMM cup of Talaash '07. It is glorious. It is the result of a truly Spartan effort. 8 of us, got together, with our team name assigned as Spartans, and we took on Jai Hind on it's own turf. We trounced past everything we took part in and defeated teams with contingents 5 and 6 times the size of ours. We fought as a unit and took what we wanted, which incidentally was everything. We did at as Spartans, as Wilson. We did it for a good time, winging it and bringing it. All in all, pretty badass.
The second, is the result of a confession I made. I confessed to a friend I had no right to love the way I did, how I felt about her, trusting that we'd come out stronger. I didn't count though on us coming out together. My second goal is one I will always cherish. Her name's Kyra and she's beautiful. It's not been a fairy tale, but it's been amazing.
I don't know how things will be and as it stands I don't quite care. All I know is that for the first time I'm actually living and it feels better than ever.
To my Olive, the now is way to bitching for me to care about the future.
To Jai Hind and Chelsea, game on.